


Immortal Space Pirates

by Statementends (Blueberryshortcake)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Jon was in a band, Martin needs a minute, Sasha is the only one that gets work done, Tim is gleeful, backstory reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 11:02:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18755155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueberryshortcake/pseuds/Statementends
Summary: Tim finds a video on YouTube and shares with the other assistants.





	Immortal Space Pirates

**Author's Note:**

> If you look up the Mechanisms you'll understand a bit more where this came from.

“Honestly Tim, I have work to do.”

“I just need you to tell me if I’m crazy or not, just come here, Sasha.”

“YouTube? Tim what exactly have you been doing?” 

“There was that Statement about ghost pirates, or aliens that was also a band, or whatever it was? Jon said it wasn’t a priority. He suggested the uh gentleman was probably high while listening to Bowie.”

“Jon said that?”

“He implied it, that isn’t the point. Out of a lark I YouTubed space pirate cabaret.”

“Right?”

“Who does that look like to you, Sasha?”

“The one in the--oh my God.” 

“It’s him, isn’t it? It has to be him!” Tim said gleefully. “Wait I’ll play it, it sounds like him too.” 

“I can’t believe it. I can’t--”

Tim pressed play. A man dressed in steampunk-esq clothing who looked and sounded suspiciously like Jonathan Sims bantered with the crowd as an assortment of characters did soundchecks. 

“He’s actually…” Sasha began.

“Having fun?” 

“I mean… Jon is…” Sasha said trying to be diplomatic, but… “This seems so out of character.”

“Does he have a twin?” 

“Hey!” Martin came up to them frowning. “Jon is recording in the next room and that’s loud. What are you listening to?”

“Martin, prepare to have your mind blown.” 

Martin gave Tim a withering look. He looked over to Sasha who opened and closed her mouth. She gestured to the computer.

“IS THAT JON!?!?” Martin squeaked. 

“He’s wearing  _ eyeliner _ .” Tim grinned. 

“He does sort of … get in to character with the statements,” Sasha said still in disbelief. They watched the video. Jon grinned rakishly out at the crowd. Martin was beet red by the end of it. 

“He’s--he’s actually really quite good,” Martin stuttered.  

“How does that become that?” Tim gestured towards Jon’s office. 

“It’s not like we know about what he does on his off time, Tim. For all we know he still does it.” Sasha said. “He is private.”

“He--we can’t let him know we know,” Martin said looking terrified. “I mean--this is--he’ll be… mad, right?”

“It’s on YouTube, Martin.” Tim said. 

“Okay, but it--he’ll be embarrassed about it. I mean… I wouldn't want… if I were to have… recordings of myself doing something like this I wouldn’t--”

“We all know about the poetry Martin.” Tim told him.

“You--”

“It’s good you put it on tape or I’m sure Tim would have posted it himself,” Sasha said giving Tim a disapproving look. 

“Never!” Tim protested. “But, if you happened to put it on a public website where anyone could see, you couldn’t blame me if I stumbled on it, could you?” 

“I really don’t think we should mention it.”

“Mention what?” A low voice interrupted. The three of them jumped guiltily. Tim slammed the lid of his laptop closed. 

“Nothing,” They all chorused at once. 

Jon squinted at them. “Really?” He asked flatly. 

Sasha coughed. 

“Say, I was thinking,” Tim said before Jon could push. “We should all have a night out. There’s a new karaoke place I’ve been meaning to visit.” 

“What?” Jon looked more confused now as if he had never heard the term ‘night out’ before. “I? We don’t do nights out...”

“Tim!” Martin said pleadingly. 

“I’m a good singer,” Tim added.

Sasha snorted as if to contradict him.

“I am!” Tim glared at her, he turned his attention back to Jon. “What about you Jon? Can you sing?”

“Tim!” Martin started shaking his head minutely. 

Jon looked over the three of them. “What’s going on?” He asked suspiciously. 

“For goodness sakes,” Sasha muttered. She turned and opened the laptop.

“Sasha!” Martin protested. Tim seemed caught between wanting the joke to go on a bit longer and not getting caught. Sasha brought up the screen again. 

Jon froze looking at the video. He didn’t move at all, but his face slowly turned as red as Martin’s. 

“Ah--I--I see…” He forced out. “That…” 

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re really quite good,” Sasha said kindly.

“I mean, your styling--”

“Tim.” Sasha elbowed him. 

“Well it IS a good time,” Tim relented seeing the joke was over. 

“How did you even find this?” Jon asked staring at the video still processing. 

“By accident,” Tim said. “You were in a cabaret?” 

“I--”

“I mean, you can’t really deny it, can you?”

“Leave him be, Tim,” Sasha said. 

“My… friend started the group,” Jon said slowly. “She needed a male vocal lead with… the right level of… I think she said the right level of sarcasm… she wrote the songs and I would help her with the harmonies and practice it with her... she decided that it wouldn’t sound right with anyone else so she roped me into it… she has a podcast now, she’s always been very… artsy.” 

“But you did it,” Martin blurted. 

“Yes, well,” Jon tensed looking cornered. “It was … fun. I-I sort of--well I like acting. And I don’t… I--I do like …” He didn’t seem to be able to bring himself to finish the sentence. “Obviously I have better things to do now.” He finished. “And--and so do you. Don’t you all have work to do?” 

“You… have a really lovely singing voice, Jon,” Martin managed. He ran a hand through his hair.

“Er. Yes. Well… thank you… Martin.” Jon picked at his sleeve not meeting any of their eyes. “Now… I’m just… going to go back to my office now.” He quickly retreated away from his three assistants the door latching firmly behind him. 

“You didn’t have to tease him like that.” Martin turned to Tim a huge frown on his face.

“And you didn’t have to compliment him so much.” Tim grinned knowingly. 

“W--wh--I don’t know what you mean. I was being polite!” 

“We really do need to get back to work.” Sasha shook her head moving off. 

“Right, polite, so you don’t want me to tell you the name of the band?” 

“--I never… I didn’t say that,” Martin said. He tried to glance over Tim’s broad shoulder to catch another glimpse of the video. 

 

Jon sat in his office head in his hands. He had really enjoyed his days as a singing immortal space pirate. It had been a good outlet for… a certain amount of drama he kept locked away behind his grumpy exterior. The last person on Earth he needed to know about it though was Tim Stoker. Sasha was fine, she wouldn’t hold it against him. And Martin…

Jon rubbed his forehead. At least Elias didn’t know. If there was one thing worse than his assistants knowing, it would be his boss knowing. 

 

Little did Jon know of course, that Elias Knew since the job interview. 


End file.
